A few weeks ago I was very excited to receive a brochure from an Escort agency, that specialises in girls dressed up in different outfits or themes. So, they had a "Red Riding Hood" a "Little Bo Beep" and some other more strange themes like, "Sexy Dalek" and "Freshly Dug-Up Corpse". Anyway, I got in touch and needless to say none of the girls I wanted were around for various reasons, except for one girl on page 6 of the brochure, who happened to be, guess what? "Common Prostitute". I tried to explain to the lady taking the bookings, "My good woman, "Common Prostitute" hardly constitutes a "Theme" it is merely a statement of fact, I can find such a lady of the night on any street corner, pray tell, what distinguishes your, "Common Prostitute" from all the others? "Well", she answered, "You wont find anyone as common as "Desiree La Douche", the commonest prostitute in all of London Town, she's just banged 15 dirty old dossers under Waterloo Bridge for 2 packs of Woodbines and a box of 100 out of date bags of Pork Scratchings that had been washed up on the shore, now, that's what I call Common!" "She sounds like my kinda gal, dispatch her to my abode forthwith!" I answered. Sure enough Desiree was as common as they come and a great shag, although I have to admit that I sprayed my dick with "Cillit Bang" on more than one occasion, as a precaution, you understand.
